Honeymoon Phase

When you move abroad, you expect it to be difficult at first. Leaving family and friends behind, dealing with new forms of bureaucracy, learning or improving your language skills, making new friends, in my case even finding a job. But it doesn't just start out difficult and get progressively easier with time. Reality is not linear. It ebbs and flows, comes and goes, and sometimes you find yourself wondering how as soon as things seem "figured out," you hit a rough patch.

At least that's been my experience. For me, moving to Berlin was the easy part. The door was wide open with possibilities but I also knew I could made a sharp turn at any time and go right back across that ocean. I was all sorts of excited, but not at all invested.

For the first half year or so I frolicked and explored and made wonderful friendships and ate an obscene amount of Goezleme. The whole not having a job thing was certainly stressful at times, but things eventually worked out and soon enough I had my Berlin bears in a row. I signed a contract, flew to Puerto Rico for my first work trip, celebrated with my Berlin buddies, and then flew home for a few weeks to spend time with the family. A happy whirlwind, indeed.

When I got back and started my job, in June 2012... that's when I hit my first rough patch. That summer was a tough one: adjustment in a new office and position, close Berlin friends off traveling, pitiful weather, and a fear that I had just committed to something that I wasn't 100% sure I wanted.

Come fall the anxiety had mostly faded, I was getting the hang of my job, and I'd established something resembling a routine. By the same time next year, Collidoscope was born and I was increasingly pleased with the direction my life was taking.

Now I'm close to the 2.5 year mark, and almost everything seems figured out. The job, the friends, the hobbies, the running, the traveling. But nonetheless, I find myself in rough patch #2. Nothing is wrong per se, but there is a nagging feeling that some of the excitement has waned and the comfort is settling in.

Hold on! This doesn't mean I'm planning on leaving, nor does it mean that I love the city any less. In fact, through all my self-analysis these past few months I think I've come to realize that I may now love the city even more. Is this possible? Is this what true love is?

I'll never be 100% sure as to what's going on in my overly-analytical-and-hyper-sensitive mind. But I've come to accept that Berlin is not the problem, I am. The reason I am increasingly nervous about what's "coming next" is because of all that I've built for myself here and how invested I've become.

The honeymoon phase is over. Berlin is no longer a risk I'm taking. It's a life I would be leaving.

Full Circle

A few days before my 1 year job-iversary, a wrap up of my tree season series. The Maybachufer, my favorite work tree... what should be next?

July 2012

October 2012

January 2013

May 2013

Great Expectations

Lausanne, July

The other week a colleague jokingly said it was cute I was "stressed" about a presentation I was giving in the office, and that it was very "American" of me to put in so much effort. My brain, as always, jumped to the underlying cultural implications of such a statement. Do we Americans tend to be perfectionists and put lots of effort into every little thing (at least in a professional sense)? And if so, why? Is it because we're worried about how we will look in front of others or because success is heavily valued in our society? Or because striving to be "better" and ascending the ranks in some form is part of our Puritan, ambitious, self-starting work ethic?

Colleague's husband's art in Tel Aviv, October

That may play a role, but I also have a hunch that this cultural difference is due in part to educational structure and expectations. In Germany, it's all about credentials. Not "what school did you go to?" (no Ivy League here), but more "what exact training did you receive and what exact certificates do you have?" If you have the certificate, you're expected to know a certain standardized body of knowledge that others outside the field don't have. If you don't have the certificate, well, it's not your field so why should you? Part of this must stem from the fact that people choose an academic or job training path so much earlier here than we are forced to in the States, where spending half of college earning liberal arts credits before choosing a major is the norm. Let alone the number of us who end up doing jobs after college that barely relate to our degree.

Kreuzberg, January

In Germany, life planning is notably more direct: you're filtered into a school level by age 10 that determines whether you will go to college or into a vocational path, and before entering higher education you most certainly have picked a major. That area becomes your expertise and if you want to do something else, you basically start over from scratch to get all those required certificates for that new field. Even applying to university is a more no-nonsense game over here. It's not about how many extracurriculars you did, what type of personality you have, or where you see yourself in 10 years. It's your grades and your planned field of study, that's it. This system is too rigid- 10 years old is way too early to filter, tracking puts lower-income students at a disadvantage, and the 21st century requires a more flexible skill set- but I can't deny it has its advantages, too. People are highly trained and generally competent in their fields. In the US on the other hand, the typical liberal arts college is designed to give you a well-rounded and general skill set (learning how to write and do research, learning to work well with others, etc.) and subsequently a lot of training ends up happening "on the job."

Tiergarten, February

My colleague summed it up this way: Germans plan and Americans prepare. And I think there's some truth to that. If you're well-trained for a job, you may not feel the need to do a lot of "last minute" preparation because you've been preparing for, oh, 10 years. And maybe, if I'm allowed to push it this far, the higher level of job security in Germany may make pushing yourself to the brink or outshining the others less of an issue. In a similar vein, my American friends and I have talked about how unusual it is to hear praise from teachers or bosses here. While in the US you may get a "great job!" for sorting the mail correctly, in Germany you may receive no positive feedback after a 30 minute presentation that you put hours of work into. Both situations can seem a bit ridiculous (and counterproductive) at times.

Köln, February

I would probably be more confident in my current job had I began training in international education at age 14 or 18 (or even 22 instead of 25), but a great deal of my "training" for this field and the reason I got my job is my soft skills, and those come from a variety of experiences and jobs, not from one certificate. So in typical transnational form, I think both systems have it right and wrong and could stand to learn from one another. A little planning and a little preparation never hurt anyone.  

Fortnight

  

I can't believe it's been 2 weeks since my last post! I really don't mean to disappear like that. Things have been kinda busy I guess, partly due to my resolutions that I've been following through on. Primarily #3 has kept me busy outside of my normal routine, and I have to admit that dating is hard work! I'm not used to going out with guys I don't really know and most of the time it feels like an interview that I thankfully get to mitigate with a couple glasses of wine. I don't think actively hunting like this is going to last for long, but it's an interesting experience for the time being. Resolution #2 has also been moving slowly but surely, and #4 will get a kick-start in a few days when I commence a weekly study schedule. As for #1, a potential trip to Croatia and Macedonia is in the works for the summer (Kate!), I have my eye on a three day weekend at the end of March for a possible getaway to Scandinavia (actually just thought of that as I was writing this, pretty good idea though right?), and the 2013 PJS reunion weekend has been booked for London in April. All in all not bad for a few weeks work.

Otherwise it's business as usual. A few little surprises at work, half-marathon training in the persistently below freezing temperatures (though running through the deserted and snowy Tiergarten last night amongst the bunnies was nothing short of spectacular), and lots of meeting friends for dinner and drinks. My Opa was also just in town for a few days which was lovely, and now I have a few leftover hunks of wurst in the fridge to remember him by. Anyone want some chunky pork products?

Oh, and the picture. That's just an advertisement I saw weeks ago at the S-Bahn that never fails to make me giggle. Hehe.

Istanbul Firsts

Merhaba! I've been in Istanbul since Monday for work, and though it's my third time here, I've had a number of "firsts" on this trip.

My first time driving over the Bosporus bridge (before I had only ferried it), crossing from Europe to Asia.

My first Raki, Turkey's most beloved spirit that tastes like Ouzo or Sambuca. I'm not a fan of anise, so after a few sips I switched back to my red wine.

My first experience eating boiled lamb brains. Taste was bland, texture was entirely too mushy for me. They should fry them. Everything tastes better fried!

And to conclude, a much more pleasant eating experience: my first time in a Turkish patisserie. While we shopped around the over-priced store we were given free samples of fresh strawberry and cream filled rolls and chocolate and left with one of those cakes covered in shaved white chocolate you see below. We had to make working on a Saturday more bearable somehow!

Erholung

View of the Bosphorus from dinner

Erholung means "rest' or "rebound" in German and that is exactly what I'm doing today. After a 6 day work trip to Istanbul, I was beyond excited to sleep til 10am, take a yoga class, treat myself to 7 euros worth of fresh strawberries and blueberries from a nice lady off the street, make myself a delicious brunch of cheesy scrambled eggs, berry salad, and coffee, and catch up on mindless TV shows (and Kaffee & Suchen of course!). I didn't even mind the storms this afternoon, because it gave me an excuse to be that much lazier.

Refreshing Turkish limonata

So, Istanbul. I'm very glad to have visited the city for the first time back in March with Julia and Jonathan or it would have been torturous to be in such an incredible city with no time for sightseeing. Even people on business trips have to eat though, so I at least got my fill of Turkish food, Kahve (Turkish coffee), and some language lessons along the way.

Eggplant Kebab

Künefe, one of my Turkish loves

It looks like I'll be in Istanbul pretty often for work, and I'm pretty pleased about it. The city is vibrant, buzzing, and just crazy enough, and the Turks are some of the friendliest people I've ever met. In a way, it's also connecting me more to Berlin by helping me understand the culture and history of a people who make up such a considerable part of the German capital. Every trip to Kreuzberg and the Turkish market will have a little more meaning as I start to use some of the language and know exactly what to order off a menu. I'm sure I'll have more to say on that in the future, but for now, I plan to get back to my relaxing Saturday. Enjoy yours!

Bosphorus and full moon

Euro Quotes

Out of Place at Kotti

"My parents grew up here, so they lived through the whole Berlin Wall thing. Wait, you know about the Wall, right?" - 17 year-old girl on the way home from basketball.

"Oh, basketball! How nice! Did you make any goals?" - Coworker after I told her I went to an open-practice.

"Water in the fridge? But it's not even hot out." - Coworker looking on in confusion as I placed a bottle of sparkling water in the fridge for later.

Week One

View from the balcony in my office

Lessons learned from my first week working in a German office. It's not scientific, but in 5 days I have garnered it is acceptable to:

1) Wear jeans all week long.

2) Arrive around 9:30/10am.

2) Dip out of work a little early to watch a big soccer match.

3) Take lots and lots of breaks if you are a smoker. They may end up with shorter lives in the end, but they're making the time they've got count.

4) Leave when you feel you hit your limit for the day (within reason of course- I'm not talking 3pm here- unless it's a Friday). "What are you going to do instead, sit there and pretend to work?" scoffed one coworker. Um yes, that's exactly what we Americans do.

5) Leave in the early afternoon on a Friday.  Freitag ab eins, macht jeder seins goes the saying. Translation: Starting at 1pm on Friday everyone does their own thing.

6) Take 25 vacation days a year. HA. I just threw that one in to piss you off. 

I guess I've made it all sound pretty great. So here are some downsides to even things out a bit:

1) If you don't go to the Finance Bureau and sort out your tax class you are automatically placed in Class 6 where they deduct, oh, approximately 80% of your salary. I'm all for social welfare but 50% seems like plenty, thankyouverymuch.

2) The whole welcoming someone new to the office with a happy hour, lunch, cupcakes, or uh, email to tell them how they're going to get into the building their first day is apparently not protocol.

3) You have to type on a German keyboard with US settings for a week. But that's likely just in my case. Hyphens, colons, and quotation marks, where are youuu? Umlauts go awayyy.

Time, Thoughts, and Trees

Yesterday I was at the grocery store, picking out some salad, and when I turned to check the expiration date and read "01.05.12" (day before month in D-land), I thought, "How can this salad last so long?!" And then I realized it's May in a couple days. When did that happen?

Puerto Rico

I'm almost at my 6th month mark here in Berlin and things have definitely taken a turn for the more promising. Along with a new job, an ever-growing social circle, and it being spring, things are looking up for this girl. Most of you know I just had my first work trip this past week. It was all a bit of a blur- signing the contract on Tuesday and sitting in the plane to San Juan on Thursday. The trip went something like this: plane, plane, plane, San Juan!, website edits, one hour beach, IEP reception, website edits, CIES conference, website edits, CIES conference, see friends!, website edits, plane, plane, London!, meeting, plane, Vienna!, meetings, plane, Berlin! SLEEP FOR 14 HOURS.

Vienna

So yes, it's all very exciting. And a bit overwhelming. Though I can't tell you how excited I am to fly home on May 11th for a good 3+ weeks to see family and friends, it makes me a bit nervous, too. Will it be harder to leave this time, knowing I've now accepted this job and am committing to a few years in Berlin? Will Berlin lose some of its magic once I'm inducted into the real working world? Will I be able to fit 5 jars of Potbelly's hot peppers into my suitcase? 

Berlin

Mal sehen.

A Peek

... at my week in Puerto Rico. Photos taken by my boss in San Juan's old town.