Before January's Over

Reflections on a Berlin Canal

Despite my vocal and written proclamations to the contrary, I seem to be making resolutions pretty regularly these last few years. Truth is, I do find it enjoyable to look back, review and reflect, and pat myself on the back or rekindle my desire to reach a goal. I just don't need it to be in a January-January time frame, which I find a bit silly. But steadily working towards something that makes me a happier and healthier person... that I can get behind.

So how am I doing on my goals? Here's what I wrote last year: 

1) Travel to three places just for fun.

Mission accomplished, and I doubt anyone's surprised. Though this may seem like "cheating" to people who only make unenjoyable resolutions, the goal was for me to take advantage of the time and freedom I currently have to explore rather than racking up countries on my list. Where did I go? Copenhagen, Croatia, and Sri Lanka (could also add a new part of the Swiss Alps and Madrid to the list). Copenhagen was a long weekend trip with my best gal Kelly, Croatia was the first time my mom and I have taken a trip just the two of us, and Sri Lanka was my first experience in South Asia with the lovely and adventurous Anna. All fantastic experiences. All, as usual, making me feel like the more I see the more I have yet to see.

Croatia, you beautiful devil, you

2) Follow through on a side project.

Can I get a HELL YEAH on this one?! Kelly and I revealed Collidoscope Berlin back in April and are still going strong with our xenophilic baby. While we post much less often than we did in the beginning (down from 3 a week to 1 every 10 days or so), we've added Facebook (like us!), Twitter (follow us!), events, and more to our side-project docket. While sometimes it's difficult to get ourselves to just sit down and write already, we're always so pleased with the product and the progression the project has taken. As always, we're open to ideas, comments, and connections if y'all have any!

3) Date more.

Oh, dating. When I wrote this one last year I was giggling at the idea that this could even be considered a resolution, but now I can say with certainty it was the most challenging of the lot. I took some RISKS in 2013 that ranged from giving online dating a shot to trying to use Collidoscope to hang out with my cute and ethnically ambiguous dentist. I had some fun, I turned many a boy down for a second date, and I had some disappointments and rejections. But even at the lowest of these moments, it was good to feel like I was putting myself out there. Now I feel I can take a bit of breather and hope that I've laid the groundwork that will catapult something into fruition this year.

Dating?!

4) Work on my German grammar.  

A hard one to measure objectively but I'd say I was pretty successful on this one. While I didn't take a class or crack open any grammar books, I did start paying way more attention and forcing others to correct me. I've finally learned some basics as well as been hit in the head with the realization I've been making some rather ridiculous mistakes for the past 20 years (so it's really "Hälfte" instead of "Helfte" and "inzwischen" instead of "entzwischen" and salt is neutral but pepper is masculine?). But that's what you get for growing up hearing a language but barely ever writing or reading it.

So what's on the proverbial list for this year? 

To be honest, I'm not sure I'm totally feeling the resolution thing this year. I want to continue to make progress in the above categories and have started making some small shifts in other areas of my life that I'll give more attention to in 2014. These include trying to do one. thing. at. a. time. (I increasingly blame the internet for ruining my attention span... I can barely get through an article without being distracted by an email, work task, song, recipe, or god knows what else anymore). I want to learn to cook more vegan meals (In Berlin I eat almost entirely vegetarian but I want to go a step further on occasion). I want, nay, NEED to read a bit more in German (not my favorite activity). I want to travel somewhere on my own, even if it's just a weekend. OH! And writing more on the ol' blog here, because I hope you guys still enjoy it on occasion (anyone out there??), and because I know I will down the line.

Two

A year ago I wrote my first Berlinniversary post and ended with the thought, "Wonder where I'll be writing from next year!" On a train from Tel Aviv to Jerusalem, it turns out. And then from a Jerusalem café eating my morning bagel, on the train back a couple days later, and then finally back in my apartment in Berlin. While somewhat indicative of the travel cycle that is my life, it's more indicative of the problems I'm having articulating what the past year in Berlin has meant to me.

That doesn't mean I haven't thought about it. Au contraire my friends, I think about it a ridiculous amount. Every jog or stroll past the Brandenburg Gate and I'm struck with the same thought: "wow, I really live here." A routine gathering with friends over a glass of wine and I find myself looking around the table admiring them, thinking, "wow, these are really my friends." At yoga class I glance over at the instructor and marvel at how I've known her since my first day in the city. Moments like these are very common for me, where I ponder where I am, how I got here, and how much has changed. I'm not sure if this is an expat thing, 20-something thing, or Sophia thing... am I just more introspective than most?

Don't get me wrong, a lot of the time I'm on auto-pilot and go through the motions of everyday life. Everything is zoomed in and there isn't time or energy or desire to peer at it from the outside. But most days, even if for a very brief moment, I zoom out and inspect my Berlin life from somewhere else. Like when you post something on Facebook and then re-read it 10 times to make sure it's still there, that you still like it, and to see what it looks like to other people (again, do other people do that?). When I "refresh, edit, 'view as specific person'" my own life, I generally "like" what I see. I see the standard stuff: job, friends, coworkers, apartment, travel, favorite restaurants and cafés, particular streets or corners, my running route, Gözleme etc. I also see myself navigating through all of it: a braver, more independent, and more passionate person than I know from the past. I see myself stumbling and failing probably more often than I used to, but I also see myself taking lots of risks. When I'm zoomed in I usually can't see where I'm headed. Zoomed out I'm still not sure, but I'm somehow assured that I'm on a path.

Regardless of whether I stay another 2 or 20 years (and whether it takes 1 hour or 5 days to write this post), this is what Berlin will always mean for me. Berlin has coaxed a different side out of me. My relationship to the city feels reciprocal, and I'm thankful every day for what Berlin has given me. Now that I think about it, that's probably why I'm so set on giving something back to it, whether it's taking visitors on impassioned tours of the city where I don't shut up about how awesome it is, to writing about it on Collidoscope.

So cheers Berlin, here's to year three of you and me!

Full Circle

A few days before my 1 year job-iversary, a wrap up of my tree season series. The Maybachufer, my favorite work tree... what should be next?

July 2012

October 2012

January 2013

May 2013

B is for Belated, Bears, and Berlin

Happy belated Valentine's Day, dear readers! I don't know about you, but my V-Day was pretty good. I started off my evening with a Spinach and Cheese Börek from my favorite Turkish stand by work and a homemade cosmopolitan, followed by finally seeing Les Misérables at Berlinale, Berlin's annual film festival. There was a red carpet at the theater which made me feel all sorts of important (minus the celebrities) and there were beers (which we smuggled in). Kelly and I went to Berlinale last year in our unemployed days when we had no sorts of real lives and all sorts of time to go explore the city every day and take cute pictures and wish you a Happy Valentine's Day on time. This year I offer you the following picture, which took 5 tries and still didn't turn out right:

Also, cultural difference alert!! Apparently the Germans found any mention of Jean Valjean "giving away" Cosette to Maurius incredibly funny. I mean, they were cracking up in any scene where it came up. The idea that a man would pass off his daughter like property! Ludicrous! It is pretty silly, but come on, this was the 1800s and Jean did Cosette a real solid with the whole adoption thing.

Seasons Part III

It's that time of the year again for a seasonal tree update. Lately they've been chopping down trees around our beloved Lietzensee like nobody's business, but thankfully my favorite Baum is still standing tall and proud. Who could really cut down such an extraordinary tree like this one, anyway? It's too bad I didn't think to get a shot when the lake was frozen, but the other part of me is happy that temperatures are now hovering around freezing rather than plunging deeply below it. Makes my 2 hr weekend jogs somewhat more enjoyable. More to come soon, but for now it's bedtime. Gute Nacht!

July 2012

October 2012

January 2013

Resolving Realistically

Leaving NYC

Hello, 2013! I'm writing from the comfort of my childhood home and am at the tail end of what has been a lovely 2 and 1/2 week vacation home (and in SC, CT, and NYC) for the holidays. Since it's January 1st and all, I thought I would take this opportunity to revisit my resolutions from last year and see how I did. They were the following:

1) Eat less foie gras.

2) Get a full-time job.

Success on both fronts! To be fair, my list was kinda ridiculous. #1 was just silly, and #2 was pretty crucial to becoming a real person in Berlin. But now that #2 is taken care of, I can focus on more "frivolous" resolutions like going to yoga regularly, trying new recipes, or reading the news more. Though I've never been much of a resolution maker. I think it's great to be conscious of your lifestyle and try to make positive changes, but I recognize that these changes take time and believe steadily trucking along toward a goal rather than a drastic overhaul is necessary to make any change sustainable and realistic. For example, I'm happy that I now generally limit myself to one row of Ritter Sport chocolate rather than devouring the whole bar in one sitting, but that took a few years of practice, not one chocolate-less January.

It's kinda fun though, to look back and set goals, so I'll throw out a 2013 list just for kicks:

1) Travel to three places just for fun (outside of trips home to US). You'd think this was an easy one for me but since I've had my job, I've barely traveled outside of work trips. In that vein, I'll count an extension on a work trip that gives me some time to explore. Now that I have a real salary, and real European vacation time, it's time to start taking advantage of the fact that I live in Europe and can jet off to places like Stockholm or Slovenia for a long weekend. 

2) Follow through on a side project outside work that I'm not yet ready to talk about. Sorry for the secrecy, just don't want to get myself excited by sharing before the time is right.

3) Date more. Yes, I said it. Now that I have a job, I'm ready for a guy. Or a "cousin" (that was for my friend JD who is convinced all the guys I like/date look like they're related- don't worry world, I am not actually planning on dating a cousin).

4) Work on my German grammar.  Adjective endings and prepositions, I'm coming for ya.

#1 and #3 seem too fun to be resolutions (well, let's see with #3...) but again, it's all about being realistic. I'm especially interested to see how #2 turns out, and promise to report back. As for #4, well let's just say there was a reason why Mark Twain wrote about "The Awful German Language."

Warm Tiergarten, Cold Tiergarten

New Sinti-Roma Holocaust Memorial

What does one do when it's -7C outside? Why go jogging in the Tiergarten of course! Because if -7C in the second week of Berlin winter deters you, then you may as well just give up, hole up in your apartment, and disappear for the subsequent 15 weeks. It's not about being bad-ass, it's about remaining human.

Berlin has split personalities, called summer and winter. In summer, or even the first semblance of mild weather, people are out on the streets frolicking, smiling faces pointed toward the sun absorbing its warmth, drinking in the parks and dancing at outdoor parties. In winter, they're bundled up in Jack Wolfskin coats and scarves, hands buried deep in their pockets, with faces pointed toward the ground to avoid the snow and wind. But we endure it, because the pay-off is pretty sweet. Just a short 5 weeks ago, the Tiergarten looked like this. Sigh. 

Musings and Markets

Charlottenburg

Same city, same decorations, but man does Christmas in Berlin feel different this year than last year. When I got here just over a year ago, I spent a lot of time strolling Berlin's streets by myself, figuring out where everything was, heading from cafe to cafe to do a little remote work for MPI or continue the job search. Occasionally I met up with Giovanni, or Anna, or one or two other friends of friends that I had been connected with, but otherwise spent lots of time alone. I got locked into a Starbucks one night while downloading movies to watch at home (no internet in my apartment those days), had hours of idle time during the day to do whatever I pleased, and still felt wrong tipping less than 20% at restaurants. Germany was not new for me, but the circumstances of being here were. Things were exciting, but also quite disorienting, kind of how I imagine Santa might actually feel attempting a hand-stand.

Mitte

Now I'm out and about so much I barely have time to watch a movie, or even spend time in Starbucks downloading one. The Christmas kitsch and market photos I do manage to snap I do so hastily, while heading with running group to a late dinner after training, meeting a friend for a quick weekend coffee, or racing home from work to tidy up before people come over.

Kreuzberg

With just a couple short weeks before my trip home for the holidays, I am going to try and soak up as much of Berlin Christmas as I can, because Germany really does Weihnachten better than anyone else. I'm starting with a trip to a Christmas market this afternoon for my first market Glühwein of the season, followed by a trip to another Christmas market with friends tomorrow, and then yet another market next week with colleagues for our work Christmas party. Think that should about cover it.

Ku'damm

Every Thanks, Everywhere

During my daily ritual of struggling to throw off my warm comforter and pull myself out of bed this morning, I thought about my last few Thanksgiving celebrations. Last year in 2011, I had just moved to Berlin and flew over to London to visit some family and friends. I celebrated Thanksgiving with a couple friends from college and their London crew at a big potluck. I made roasted veggies. In 2010, I was in grad school and traveled to NYC to celebrate with my aunt, uncle, and cousins. My aunt cooked a splendid meal as she always does and we drank loads of wine as we always do. I made the roasted veggies. The last time I was in DC with family for Thanksgiving was 2009 it seems. I'm pretty sure I made roasted veggies.

Veggies pre-roasting 2011, London

Somewhere along the line that is my life, Thanksgiving morphed into my favorite holiday. Christmas is still the big one in our family: it brings us all together without fail and will always remind me of our Oma who planned and executed every Weihnachten of our childhood, from the decorations to the music to the "boxes" to the big meal on the 24th to hiding the cookies from Opa. If I could only have one holiday, it would be Christmas, for these reasons.

Veggies post-roasting in 2010, NYC

But Thanksgiving, in its essence, is my favorite. Christmas certainly revolves around a big meal and loved ones, but it's simpler at Thanksgiving. Food and people are the star of the show. It's why people rush to the store to get the last frozen turkey and can of cranberry sauce, why people fly across the country or take long road trips in awful traffic to get home for just a couple days. I appreciate these rituals and this effort, but I personally don't find it necessary. For me, there is no need for turkey or cranberry sauce: for years my family did nontraditional Thanksgiving meals like surf & turf, quail, duck, and seafood stew. We drank heavy reds instead of Beaujoulais, and we bought our pies at Trader Joe's, when we had them at all. I'm obviously not one to criticize travel, but I am always content to spend Thanksgiving somewhere other than DC. It's comforting to know that Christmas is around the corner and I'll be home then anyway, and it's an opportunity to spend a special day with other people you care about, or maybe have recently met. It's a warm, fuzzy holiday that besides the cooking (and travel), is really relaxing. One could say I already spent my Thanksgiving this year with a group of Poles, Germans, Israelis, and Ukranians in a small town in central Poland a few days ago where we consumed immense amounts of food like schnitzel and pierogi, drank a few rounds of wodka, and sang songs from all our countries. 

Dinner in Poland, 2012

I'm a lucky girl though, and have the good fortune of celebrating again tonight with a group of friends in Berlin. Not only is it Thanksgiving, but it is also Kelly's birthday. I will be making...... garlic mashed potatoes. But you better believe I'll be roasting the crap out of that garlic first.

Happy Thanksgiving to all my family and friends celebrating today, wherever you are, whatever you are eating. I am thankful for all of you.

One

When I first arrived to Berlin exactly one year ago, I had a return ticket in hand and plenty of doubts. Whether the whole move would pan out- if I'd find the perfect job and lots of German friends and not miss home too much- was unknown. What I did know is I needed to try.

A year later, I don't have the perfect job and lots of German friends and I can't say I don't miss home. My job is very good- great in some ways- and challenging/difficult in others, the way any job should be. My group of friends is heavily English speaking but relatively international and objectively awesome, and my German friend group is growing at a snail's pace, the way German friendships tend to work. I don't necessarily miss "home" so much, but the people I miss terribly sometimes. The same way I would if I lived anywhere outside of DC for a job or the same way I miss friends from school, study abroad, and France, as well as the European side of my family when I'm in DC.

So it's not perfect, but it's real, and every day it gets a little more real. Rushing to make the bus in the morning for work, grabbing a bottle of wine to take to a friend's place for dinner, traveling 4 hours to visit family for the weekend... sometimes I forget I haven't been here longer than a year already. That was a confusing way to write that last sentence, but you get me.

Somewhat inappropriately I am not in Berlin today to celebrate our anniversary (sorry, Berlin). Instead I'm out west with Kelly in a small town called Soest to visit family and experience the 675th Soester Kirmes, which I've coined the Spring Break of Northwest Germany. But more to come on that later.

In the meantime, Happy Berlinniversary to me. Wonder where I'll be writing from next year! 

Seasonal Showcase

Before I left for Israel a week and a half ago, I was lamenting the fact that fall in Berlin was not nearly as beautiful as fall back home. Sure, the leaves were falling here and there, but the vibrant orange, red, and yellow tree-lined streets of my Maryland neighborhood were nowhere to be found. Berlin decided to put in some good work the 7 days I was gone, though, and the 30 degree (Fahrenheit) dip in temperature was much easier to digest when I saw all the colors the city had finally decided to put on display. Below, my favorite tree on the Lietzensee, the gorgeous pond by our office that provides the perfect location for a lunchtime stroll, showcasing the seasonal shift.

July

October

Four Seasons of the Maybachufer

November 2011

February 2012

May 2012

September 2012

I've been waiting eagerly to post this number of one of my favorite spots in town. Now that I just passed the 10 month mark in Berlin, and it has very much started to feel like the onset of fall, it was finally time. Anyone who's visited me in Berlin (and was around on a Tuesday or Friday) knows this spot, too. It's home to - what else - the bi-weekly Turkish market and my favorite Goezleme. Let's just say I left work a little early yesterday to take my Dad who's in town, and snapped my final shot.

Gearing Up

Where it all began, Tübingen Summer 2004

I have some big things to get ready for, namely my imminent 3.5 week trip back to the States and my new job. But all my current energy and excitement is focused on what begins tonight: the long-awaited, much-anticipated, any-other-appropriate-cliche, PJS REUNION 2012!!

What is PJS, you ask? PJS stands for Priscilla, Jessica, and Sophia, or to us, Pris, Jess, and Soph. The three of us met back in summer of 2004 in an intensive language program in Tübingen, Germany. We were placed in the same level German class and were almost instantly joined at the hip(s). Quite the threesome we were that month, and we've stayed in impressively close contact over the years, visiting each other here and there in various cities and countries. 

Reunion 2006 in Lausanne, Switzerland

If you're an avid reader of my blog, as I'm sure you all are, you read about Priscilla back when she visited me in November and when I visited her in December in Düsseldorf, where she currently resides . She's a fellow American, but is also always all over the world. I spent 6 weeks with her in Buenos Aires in 2009 when she was living there and we've also met up over the years and traveled together in DC, New York, Boston, Rome, Germany, Switzerland, and probably some other places I am forgetting.

Pris visits UMD, 2005

Pris and I in Buenos Aires, 2009

Jessica is the Swiss leg of this operation. She hails from the French-speaking city of Lausanne, but has an Italian mother and German-Swiss father, so that gives you an idea of how many languages she speaks. She and I traveled together in 2006 to Switzerland, Italy, Belgium, and Holland, and in 2008 to Vienna, Prague, and Budapest, and again, other places I am probably forgetting.

Jess and I in Amsterdam, 2006

Jess visits DC, 2010

Though we've all seen each other here and there throughout the years, we've only managed to get the 3 of us together twice since that splendid summer of '04. The first was back in 2006 when I was studying abroad in Germany and Priscilla came over for Spring Break. The three of us met at Jess's in Switzerland and went skiing together. The second time was summer of 2007 after I graduated college and right before heading to France, when Jess came over to the US and we did a LA, NYC, DC trip for a few weeks.

Reunion 2007 in LA

Now for the first time ever, we all reside on the same continent, and this weekend will be our attempt at a proper 5 year catch-up. Los geht's, mädels!

SJCM

Now...

... and then

In the past 15 years, we've grown up a bit (and put on pants), but not much else has changed between the four of us. We may have nixed presents in my family a few years back, but the biggest gift of all is to be able to spend Christmas every year with these three. Thank you J, C, and M, for being my closest friends, my most trusted allies, and for always knowing what's most important.

Die Zeit Läuft Uns Davon

Translation: Time (freakin') flies

April 2006:

December 2011:

From left: Lea, Jan, Lucas, Sophia, Fynn (Schwaderer cousins in Soest)

Pris comes to town!

This weekend, my good friend Priscilla and her boyfriend Micha came to Berlin from Düsseldorf to spend a few days with me. Pris and I have been friends since we met in a summer study abroad program in Tübingen, Germany over 7 years ago. Jess, du hast uns gefehlt!

Here we are being silly back in 2004:

Here we are, no more silliness, in 2011:

Just kidding! We are still silly:

The two days were filled with sightseeing, delicious Turkish food, cocktails, laughing, public transport, the "Sophia game" (otherwise known as "Celebrity"), brunch, free Sachertorte, views, small smoky bars, and more public transport. The whole time they had to listen to me gush about the city (what can I say, we're still in our honeymoon phase, Berlin and I) but they handled it pretty well and were fantastic sightseeing partners-in-crime. Stay tuned for a story about our new friend, Jonny, and his old friend, Charlie. In the meantime, here are a few pictures: