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Lietzensee

How, How, HOW has it been 6 months since my last post? My mind is officially boggled. My bike is lying on its side in shock above. A lot has happened in 6 months I guess. The half marathon, trips to Sofia, London, France, Switzerland, Soest and Doha, visits from my mom and a few friends, a friend's wedding and reunions with friends from Lannion and Tübingen, and that whole Germany winning the World Cup thing. Plus a boy/heartbreak situation I won't go into here, but will say was equally lovely and heart-wrenching.

World Cup Final: That was fun

Yet despite all the above, the majority has remained the same, leaving me feeling a littttttle antsy. A few weeks ago, in an attempt to mix things up, I tried to do one thing differently every day. Well I meant to try one thing differently every day but lost steam around day 4. Though to be fair, sharing this "failure" with you all is "different" for me - usually I would ignore it completely since I didn't officially finish what was a very unofficial project to begin with. Anyways. I tried things like taking different routes to work on my bike or biking to new parts of town, taking a spontaneous weeknight evening stroll through the Tiergarten, and going vegan for an entire day. Nothing crazy obviously, just minor efforts to show myself that I can make things different if I want them to be different.

Tiergarten

It kinda worked I guess. I saw, experienced, and learned new things. Like what gears I should ride my bike in, locations of a few cute new cafes, and that not all tortillas are vegan. Like I said small things (though the bike gear thing was a revelation). But perhaps those changes weren't grandiose enough. It's surreal sometimes to think back at what this city meant for me as a tourist and what it means now, almost 3 years after living here. Routines can (and usually) settle in anywhere, and even though I'm still completely enthused and inspired by this place, it's usually the case that my days look somewhat similar. But I won't lie - I've been feeling a little like a spoiled brat having these thoughts in the first place. Are most of you just totally happy where you are, doing what you're doing? Or am I destined to live a perpetually confused and antsy life if I continue this transnational business? At this point I'm pretty sure it's a done deal either way though. A move anywhere else will surely leave me yearning for Berlin, which - in its own way - has been equally lovely and heart-wrenching.

Two

A year ago I wrote my first Berlinniversary post and ended with the thought, "Wonder where I'll be writing from next year!" On a train from Tel Aviv to Jerusalem, it turns out. And then from a Jerusalem café eating my morning bagel, on the train back a couple days later, and then finally back in my apartment in Berlin. While somewhat indicative of the travel cycle that is my life, it's more indicative of the problems I'm having articulating what the past year in Berlin has meant to me.

That doesn't mean I haven't thought about it. Au contraire my friends, I think about it a ridiculous amount. Every jog or stroll past the Brandenburg Gate and I'm struck with the same thought: "wow, I really live here." A routine gathering with friends over a glass of wine and I find myself looking around the table admiring them, thinking, "wow, these are really my friends." At yoga class I glance over at the instructor and marvel at how I've known her since my first day in the city. Moments like these are very common for me, where I ponder where I am, how I got here, and how much has changed. I'm not sure if this is an expat thing, 20-something thing, or Sophia thing... am I just more introspective than most?

Don't get me wrong, a lot of the time I'm on auto-pilot and go through the motions of everyday life. Everything is zoomed in and there isn't time or energy or desire to peer at it from the outside. But most days, even if for a very brief moment, I zoom out and inspect my Berlin life from somewhere else. Like when you post something on Facebook and then re-read it 10 times to make sure it's still there, that you still like it, and to see what it looks like to other people (again, do other people do that?). When I "refresh, edit, 'view as specific person'" my own life, I generally "like" what I see. I see the standard stuff: job, friends, coworkers, apartment, travel, favorite restaurants and cafés, particular streets or corners, my running route, Gözleme etc. I also see myself navigating through all of it: a braver, more independent, and more passionate person than I know from the past. I see myself stumbling and failing probably more often than I used to, but I also see myself taking lots of risks. When I'm zoomed in I usually can't see where I'm headed. Zoomed out I'm still not sure, but I'm somehow assured that I'm on a path.

Regardless of whether I stay another 2 or 20 years (and whether it takes 1 hour or 5 days to write this post), this is what Berlin will always mean for me. Berlin has coaxed a different side out of me. My relationship to the city feels reciprocal, and I'm thankful every day for what Berlin has given me. Now that I think about it, that's probably why I'm so set on giving something back to it, whether it's taking visitors on impassioned tours of the city where I don't shut up about how awesome it is, to writing about it on Collidoscope.

So cheers Berlin, here's to year three of you and me!

Kaffee & Kuchen

One of my absolute favorite things about Berlin is the abundance of cute cafés. Tables graced with candles and flowers, the decor mismatched and rustic. Such a charm that I think is really missing at cafés back in DC that tend to be of the sterile chain variety. Today I met a couple friends for Germany's Sunday afternoon tradition, Kaffee und Kuchen, and savored a beautiful slice of homemade cheesecake and a hot chocolate spiked with chili. It was all I could handle on this lazy Sunday, and all I really wanted.

Got My Berlin Groove Back

Bye, bye Christmas

After 6 days, I feel I have finally gotten my Berlin groove back. Yesterday I described coming back to Berlin after a long trip home a "hangover," because that was the best way I could think to explain it. My head is spinning from everything I did, all the places I visited and family and friends I saw, and then all of a sudden I'm opening the door to my apartment in Berlin and am supposed to resume whatever it is I've got going on over here. It's like flipping a switch, turning on one life and fading out the other.

Solo Sunday trip to the Berlinischer Galerie

The first couple days are never easy. There's the unpacking, of course, the follow up emails and calls to tell everyone at home you've landed and are fine and to stay in touch, etc. Then there was returning to work and reorienting myself to a normal schedule after 3 weeks which is hard enough in itself. And then there was the fact that 3 of my close Berlin friends were still out of town, which meant a somewhat lackluster social calendar. So on Monday and Tuesday it was staying at work late, staring at a computer screen, to come home exhausted and watch movies on another screen. It's not a good pattern, but it's hard to break when you're tired and all you want to do is watch things on a screen. Sure enough though, as always, things turned around in the middle of the week, and a productive day at work coupled with a great jog with my running group last night was all I needed to whip myself back into shape. Now Kelly and Giovanni are also back, and my weekend calendar is filling up quite nicely.

Hope you all had a lovely holiday season, and have fully recovered from your respective hangovers, whatever type they may have been.

One

When I first arrived to Berlin exactly one year ago, I had a return ticket in hand and plenty of doubts. Whether the whole move would pan out- if I'd find the perfect job and lots of German friends and not miss home too much- was unknown. What I did know is I needed to try.

A year later, I don't have the perfect job and lots of German friends and I can't say I don't miss home. My job is very good- great in some ways- and challenging/difficult in others, the way any job should be. My group of friends is heavily English speaking but relatively international and objectively awesome, and my German friend group is growing at a snail's pace, the way German friendships tend to work. I don't necessarily miss "home" so much, but the people I miss terribly sometimes. The same way I would if I lived anywhere outside of DC for a job or the same way I miss friends from school, study abroad, and France, as well as the European side of my family when I'm in DC.

So it's not perfect, but it's real, and every day it gets a little more real. Rushing to make the bus in the morning for work, grabbing a bottle of wine to take to a friend's place for dinner, traveling 4 hours to visit family for the weekend... sometimes I forget I haven't been here longer than a year already. That was a confusing way to write that last sentence, but you get me.

Somewhat inappropriately I am not in Berlin today to celebrate our anniversary (sorry, Berlin). Instead I'm out west with Kelly in a small town called Soest to visit family and experience the 675th Soester Kirmes, which I've coined the Spring Break of Northwest Germany. But more to come on that later.

In the meantime, Happy Berlinniversary to me. Wonder where I'll be writing from next year! 

Berlin's Bizarre Birthday

Uh, not sure how to begin this one. I suppose some context: back in September I had run into an open-air exhibit called Stadt der Vielfalt (City of Diversity). The exhibit was one of several to commemorate Berlin's 775th birthday this year that culminated with last night's celebrations.

Twilight installation in Nikolaiviertel

A little more background: Berlin turned 775 yesterday, but this is only his? her? her. her 4th birthday celebration ever. The first one to celebrate 700 years was in 1937, put on by the you-know-whos, and then two 750th birthdays were celebrated respectively in West and East Berlin in 1987. In a way, this was Berlin's first "unsoiled" birthday and the city took it as an opportunity to acknowledge the past but make a statement about the way it sees itself today and where it wants to go in the future.

Yes, this moose in stripper shoes was part of the celebration

I walked into the entire celebration a bit blind, expecting something like a typical Christmas market minus the Christmas. You know, Bratwurst and Gluehwein and live music and cookie hearts and the occasional Dirndl or Lederhosen. Your usual German festival fare. Instead I was greeted by excessive amounts of open flame and interpretive theater. I suppose it was nice that the planners mixed it up and threw in some social commentary about global warming and whatnot, but it kinda freaked me out a little. I just wasn't prepared! And the fact that I was still nursing a Sunday hangover, it being Halloween time, and there being a full moon just didn't help things.

Moose in stripper shoes approaches baby alien in ball

Berlin's only "medieval" quarter, the Nikolaiviertel, was covered in fire. A bunch of metal circle cages with inflamed flower pots and little men with clocks as heads, lightbulbs on fire as hands, rolling back and forth on unicycles on tightropes... I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried. My very insightful friend Kelly put 2 and 2 together: fire to represent light during medieval times and metal men with clocks as heads moving back and forth represented us moving from past to present (and then maybe back to the past? making the same mistakes? that was my only contribution). My "ooh cultural differences!" brain kicked in and I couldn't stop thinking how the US would never put so much open flame in a public space for fear of being sued after some drunk idiot got too close and burned himself or tossed his beer into the fire leading to a few people losing their eyebrows.

Nastya, Kelly, and I staying warm by the medieval lighting

A wounded tree and some magical creatures

Guarding or about to decapitate a lone sunflower.
I thought guarding- I'm a "glass half-full" type of girl.

At any rate it was a sight to be seen and I am glad to have seen the sight. I was even more glad to escape to a warm cafe with Kelly and Giovanni afterward to decompress with an adult hot chocolate. Quick tip for the next celebration, Berlin: if you want us to watch people dressed as fish flopping around on volleyball courts, a little Gluehwein wouldn't hurt.

Nikolaiviertel: U/S Alexanderplatz or S/Hackescher Markt (across from the Rotes Rathaus/Red Townhall)

Monday Memo

Grunewald

Good morning! This is what I consider my last week of Berlin "freedom" for awhile. I've been here since my last trip to Istanbul in early September- a whole glorious month without travel for work or anything else- so I've actually felt like I live here for once. I've been going out on weekends, meeting up with lots of friends, regularly attending yoga class, keeping my apartment tidy, throwing and attending parties, buying groceries(!), etc. It's a nice feeling. This coming Saturday I fly to Israel for a week for work and that's when my crazy fall really begins. Or heisser Herbst (hot fall) as our senior project manager put it. I'll be in and out of Berlin after that quite a bit until I fly home in December for an eagerly anticipated break with family and friends. The blogging may get a bit sparser from now til the end of the year but I promise to keep y'all as updated as possible! Just be prepared for shorter posts laden with Instagrammed photos, like this one. ;)

Cash, Semi-Tourists, and Creepy Dolls

I often feel I am stuck somewhere in between resident and tourist in Berlin. Although I've been here almost a year, and know the city reasonably well, I can't seem to take a walk without snapping a dozen pics of random things like cute cappuccinos, interesting street art, or weirdly placed shoes at metro stops. Not to mention normal tourist things like monuments and parks. It could just be that Berlin is super interesting, or that I am slightly obsessed with taking pictures, but I think it's partly because I don't totally feel integrated and Berlin still fascinates and surprises me sometimes. It's a nice feeling, really, to walk to work or a friend's house and be surprised by something you see. Sometimes all I have to do is take a slightly different route to get where I'm going, and it's like an entirely new section of the city is opened up to me. Sometimes it's just going somewhere that I've thought about going to for months and just haven't gotten my act together to visit- like the district of Wedding, where a good friend just moved. And sometimes, it's being open to going to a place that's totally standard for a friend and totally new for me. Somewhere like a Balkan flea market in the depths of Neukoelln where a semi-famous artist has filmed a music video:

So last Sunday, I happily accompanied my friend Sophie to this gritty, packed, and not at all touristy (or German) market. A nice departure from the usual Mauer Park trip on Sundays which is full of tourists and hipsters. As I rifled through the one euro sweater bins, underwear with weird English phrases on them, bottles of Head and Shoulders, and boxes of mismatched plates and silverware, I tried to blend in and bargain like a local. But the tourist in me couldn't stop whipping out the camera as each creepy doll, cute parent/child scene, and delightfully intercultural moment graced my eyes.

I even got my beloved Goezleme! Not the crispy, greasy version from the Turkish Market, but a softer, creamier version that was, dare I say it, just as good.

 

Market without a name: U7/Grenzallee by Obi Markt at Grenzallee/Naumburger Strasse 33

What Berlin Looks Like...

walking up the stairs to an independent movie theater

strolling past a closed pet store

sipping a cappuccino and reading by the windowsill

waiting for the subway to go home

Thai & Tempelhof

I'm pretty "with it" when it comes to Berlin tourist and hot spots. Not that I could ever know all of Berlin's secret, underground happenings, but the big sites I've most certainly got down. I could give a comprehensive tour of this city in my sleep. So even though I have long been aware of Tempelhof, I'm surprised that until this past weekend I had been pretty immune to its charms.

Sundays for me are generally reserved for one park and one park only: the Thai Park. Have I written about the Thai Park yet? If not, please excuse this egregious oversight on my part. The Thai Park is a wonderful, wonderful place where Thai women set up umbrellas and sell fresh, delicious goodies like papaya salad, pad thai, and mango with sticky rice that you eat while sprawled out on a blanket in a park that happens to be right outside of my apartment building. It's heaven wrapped in a spring roll! A spring roll stuffed with heaven! It's my happy place.

And just like that, she's off track because of food! Back to Tempelhof, which does not have Thai food. But in Tempelhof's defense, the place has pretty much everything else. It's a former airport turned massive park where you can find everything from carnivals to kite flying to soccer games to music festivals. After lounging about and indulging at the Thai Park last Sunday, I agreed to join a couple friends there for a long overdue visit.

 

The first thing that strikes you is just how massive the spot is. From one end it's tough to make out the other. There's just so much open space without trees or lakes or anything else that the other Berlin parks are full of. And being able to jog, rollerblade, or picnic on a former runway is pretty cool.

 

The history of the place is pretty interesting, too. Tempelhof has played a really signficant role in some of Berlin's darkest and most complicated eras- built in the 20s, it was re-constructed by the Nazis in the 30s and used to assemble Stuka dive bombers and Focke Wulf FW 190 fighter planes during World War II. Later it was the site of the famous Berlin airlift in 1948-1949. Its main building also used to be one of the 20 biggest buildings on EARTH (thanks, Wikipedia).

Tempelhof Airport was closed in 2008 and has since evolved into one of Berlin's most beloved parks. It's a nice alternative to the more stately Tiergarten and has a somewhat edgier feel (though let's not forget Tiergarten has its fair share of nude sunbathers). Coming up this week in Tempelhof is some kind of freestyle frisbee tournament where people "jam" together on frisbees to music. Or maybe they have to make music with frisbees. Either way, I am happy to have another Berlin staple in my repertoire.

Thai Park: U7 Fehrbelliner Platz/Preussen Park
Tempelhof Park: S41/42 Tempelhof or U6 Tempelhof

Diversity City Turns 775

Berlin turns 775 this year. As part of the celebration, the city has created an open-air exhibit in Mitte called Stadt der Vielfalt, or City of Diversity- a huge walkable map with colorful "pins" each highlighting a different part of Berlin's uniqueness. Each pin holds a story corresponding to its particular neighborhood, like a now famous Turkish-German author's first shared home when she arrived here in the 60s, a world music workshop for children, and a story about how immigrants introduced the potato to Berlin. The exhibit portrays Berlin's history as one of immigration, diversity, and inclusion, while making sure not to ignore past (and present) problems of exclusion, persecution, and discrimination of those who are "different".

I also found my neighborhood...

...my office (and the pond I walk around after lunch every day!)...

...and even a pin about my beloved Thai Park!

Berlin, I love you and your diversity. Happy birthday.

p.s. you don't look a day over 500.

My Green Berlin Weekend

View from the Holocaust Memorial

Gay Pride Parade

Kreuzberg Fountain

Taking Berlin by Sperrys and Stripes

(In all fairness, the Sperry were coordinated but the stripes were just a pleasant coincidence)

The last few days, I've been playing host to my sister's husband's youngest brother and his girlfriend. I'll give you a second to work that one out in your head.

...............

And we're back! Both Sarah and Daniel were Berlin newbies, so we/they did all the major sights, including Brandenburger Tor, Checkpoint Charlie, the Jewish Memorial and its accompanying museum, the Pergamon (yes, Opa, I finally went!), Hackescher Hoefe, East Side Gallery, und so weiter. We spent a good amount of time in Mitte, the main tourist district, but I made sure they saw some of real Berlin, as well. I took them to Neukoelln, a neighborhood full of Turks and Berlin's "most dangerous" (give me a break) that is entirely absent from my Berlin guide book. At least half my friends live or are planning to move there, and it's home to great little bars, cafes, and delicious Turkish food. We also made the requisite visit to Friday's Turkish Market where they only sampled a bite of my Goezleme because they had foolishly eaten lunch before meeting me. Fools!

Sunday Brunch

Their visit also happened to coincide with the Euro Cup and first round Germany-Portugal game. We hauled it out to the "Fan Mile" for a public viewing of the game along with thousands of other enthused fans and blended in seamlessly with German jerseys on our backs and Bratwursts in hand.

After Germany beat Portugal

I've had quite a few visitors since I arrived in Berlin 7 months ago, but these two get a special shout-out and standing invitation to return anytime because they brought me such a wonderful gift: FOUR jars of Potbelly's hot peppers. They now proudly stand in my cupboard next to two jars of JIF and a bottle of habanero salsa. All American delicacies as far as I'm concerned. Future guests take note!

Transatlantic/k

Transatlantik is definitely not a German word. The correct translation would be Transatlantisch but coming up with cute blog titles is just more important to me than correct grammar. See how much I compromise for all of you?

I'm back in Berlin as of last night. My mama took me to the airport yesterday (was that yesterday? day before yesterday?), where we arrived about 2 hours too early. After fighting with my luggage and the check-in lady to make the weight and size limits for both suitcases we proceeded to an airport bar where my mom watched me drink my last Sam Adams of the trip. We had a nice last chat, scoffed at the $8.50 price tag, and when she left me at security, I was fighting back tears. I mean really, $8.50 for a beer?! Just kidding. It was the leaving part. 3 weeks at home and it really starts to feel like home again, let me tell you.

And by "home," I mean Raleigh, Surfside Beach, Cambridge, DC, and Bethesda. I mean birthdays, parties, graduations, pool trips, and visits to former offices. I mean frozen yogurt with strawberries and chocolate chips, trips to Rio Grande and Chipotle, iced teas bigger than my head and refills a go-go, long car trips, paddle ball, bagels with lox, trips to CVS and TJ Maxx, stocking up on hot peppers at Potbelly's, convenience, and happy hours. But most of all, I mean picking up Mo and Matilda and giving them kisses, running errands and cooking dinner with my sister, having a glass of wine (or two) with my dad, enjoying a 6 hour long porch chat with the cousins, eating and eating and eating with the whole family, playing silly games with friends in the backyard, and having an overpriced beer in the airport with my mama.