Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Change

Lietzensee
How, How, HOW has it been 6 months since my last post? My mind is officially boggled. My bike is lying on its side in shock above. A lot has happened in 6 months I guess. The half marathon, trips to Sofia, London, France, Switzerland, Soest and Doha, visits from my mom and a few friends, a friend's wedding and reunions with friends from Lannion and T├╝bingen, and that whole Germany winning the World Cup thing. Plus a boy/heartbreak situation I won't go into here, but will say was equally lovely and heart-wrenching.

World Cup Final: That was fun
Yet despite all the above, the majority has remained the same, leaving me feeling a littttttle antsy. A few weeks ago, in an attempt to mix things up, I tried to do one thing differently every day. Well I meant to try one thing differently every day but lost steam around day 4. Though to be fair, sharing this "failure" with you all is "different" for me - usually I would ignore it completely since I didn't officially finish what was a very unofficial project to begin with. Anyways. I tried things like taking different routes to work on my bike or biking to new parts of town, taking a spontaneous weeknight evening stroll through the Tiergarten, and going vegan for an entire day. Nothing crazy obviously, just minor efforts to show myself that I can make things different if I want them to be different.

Tiergarten
It kinda worked I guess. I saw, experienced, and learned new things. Like what gears I should ride my bike in, locations of a few cute new cafes, and that not all tortillas are vegan. Like I said small things (though the bike gear thing was a revelation). But perhaps those changes weren't grandiose enough. It's surreal sometimes to think back at what this city meant for me as a tourist and what it means now, almost 3 years after living here. Routines can (and usually) settle in anywhere, and even though I'm still completely enthused and inspired by this place, it's usually the case that my days look somewhat similar. But I won't lie - I've been feeling a little like a spoiled brat having these thoughts in the first place. Are most of you just totally happy where you are, doing what you're doing? Or am I destined to live a perpetually confused and antsy life if I continue this transnational business? At this point I'm pretty sure it's a done deal either way though. A move anywhere else will surely leave me yearning for Berlin, which - in its own way - has been equally lovely and heart-wrenching.

1 comment:

Kate Cottrell said...

Always enjoy reading your posts. Simple and honest.